The Voice

I am the prophet
I've come to set them free
I came from nothing
A hopeless family
Disgraced name
Fruitless legacy
That changes today
Strike fear in all my enemies

You tried to test me
You told me I was nothing
I remember your gom jabbar
Now remember mine

I can kill with a word

With a word - with a word
I kill with just one word
With a word - with a word
I can kill - I will kill

My name is a killing word
You are on the killing floor
My people are ready to fight
You will reign no more

I can see the future
You aren't a part of it
I have bled for so long
Wondering if it was worth it
I never asked for this
But I will accept it no less
I cannot escape fate
You cannot escape death

You tried to test me
You told me I was nothing
I remember your gom jabbar
Now remember mine

I can kill with a word

With a word - with a word
I kill with just one word
With a word - with a word
I can kill - I will kill

My name is a killing word
You are on the killing floor
My people are ready to fight
You will reign no more

Be gone from this universe

Doubt me at your own peril
Judge me and prepare to be judged
Sling arrows and try to tear me down
Hurt me and prepare to be crushed

I kill with just one word

Watch Out

Watch out for the world
If they're not out to get you, they're out to get what's yours
If you don't stand, they'll have you on all fours
If you don't reach for the sky, you'll be cleaning floors
If you give all you have, they'll make you give more
Watch out for the world
If you trust a person they might steer you wrong
Your beliefs might have been false all along
The heroes you adore are dead and gone
And haunting melodies adorn all songs
Watch out for the world
There may just be a wrong to every right
There may just be a dark to every light
There may just be a day to every night
Victory and defeat in every fight
Watch out for the world
It's not an easy place to live, I know
We're running out of places we can go
Life is hard and sometimes painfully slow
But at least in reading this, you're not alone

Ready

I'm ready for your next overreaction
I'm ready to take the blame
I'm ready for another guilt trip
I'm ready to be the one who's shamed
I can't wait for your next line
I know you're gonna throw some poison darts
I'm so excited for your martyrdom
The Richter's needle may go off the charts

Anything that makes you feel better about you
You don't compromise or apologize, you just take until you're through
Just as long as you get the last motherfucking word
It just doesn't matter if anyone else gets hurt

I'm ready to fire back on you
I'm ready to unload the arsenal
You tried to get away with murder
You will find out that's not possible
If your telltale heart doesn't get you first
I promise you I'll complete the job
You won't be tapping at my door any longer
This is the last soul that you've robbed

Caravan

It's an overstatement
To say that we are so complacent
We wonder where our grace went
Oh, just kiss it goodbye
These nervous angels
Spreading wings across our tables
Willing to heal us, ready and able
But oh, afraid to fly

Do your thoughts stop you from breathing?
Do your eyes stop your believing?
Are you driven to move on, but scared of where your next step leads?
Take my hand and understand
Let us join our caravans
'Cause none of us know where we're going, but we know we have to leave

We must carry on
Yes we must carry on

You've spent so long fighting
No reprieve and no silver lining
The axe that you've been grinding
Never seemed to make the grade
These prideful devils
Always combating several
Swing the weapon and make some heads roll
It's time you trust your blade

Do your thoughts stop you from breathing?
Do your eyes stop your believing?
Are you driven to move on, but scared of where your next step leads?
Take my hand and understand
Let us join our caravans
'Cause none of us know where we're going, but we know we have to leave

We must carry on
Yes we must carry on

Join me, my brother, my sister
This time is ours
Take from me, you weary, you meek
My burden's thinned out
I've had all I'd ever need
Of the negativity
I do for my own and myself
I won't stop now

Follower Of Christ

I'd say I heard your voice as clear as day
But my days have not been so clear of late
My eyes burn like the soaring orange sun
Kept open by a tortuous glare of white
I almost died, and nobody was there
A day passed and I almost died again
I didn't hear a thing outside my fear
But I swear to all the gods I heard your voice
My heart is broken, quite literally
My body tries to burn itself alive
I stress about things I cannot control
Then I reward myself with acid baths
My blood thickens and runs slow in my veins
My broken heart beats faster than it should
I should have died two separate times that day
But I remembered the sound of your voice
I did what you'd have wanted me to do
But when I felt trapped I released myself
My life is in my hands, I am my own
The choices I make daily must be great
I cannot be so quick to light my anger
I cannot be stuck in throes of despair
I must not allow anyone's control
But most of all, I must forget your voice
I dedicated life solely to you
Remembered, reminisced and repentant
I wrote it all down just to tell to you
These stories and these stupid songs to share
You left me here to question everything
Alone and suffering, I faded fast
I'm taking back control, becoming one
I will forget your name, your ways, your voice
You cannot hurt me, you cannot touch me
You cannot break me, you will be denied
I will renew myself without your curse
And I'll forget your miserable name
I live, I breathe, I hope, I will survive
Relish the sacrifices I will make
I will love and cherish my own, and self
And I'll not once again recall your name

There Is No Other Way

I tried taking the mountain pass
My knees collapsed and my chest was an icicle
I tried to take the valley
My ears rang and my nose clogged
I tried to cross the middle ground
My mind told me constantly 'we are lost'
So I tried to turn around and go back
I felt defeated, but comfortable
I beamed and smiled joyfully at my mistakes and glories
All waiting for me just as I had left them
I conversed with the inanimate
I laughed with the noncorporeal
I forgot my struggles as I fell asleep with what I knew
Surely there is no other way
That forward business is scary stuff
Just pull me back to safety
Don't lure me into untold pains
I can't bear the thought of leaving this behind
I am happy here, and so are my things
The wind whispers in my ear a reminder
Had I never journeyed, I would have never gained
Curse the wind

Soldier

I'm not what you're looking for
I promise you I'm not
Peace won't prepare your heart for war
And this conflict's all I've got
Just turn back the way you came
Regroup, repent, restore
One truth will solemnly remain
I'm not what you searched for
I'm broken, bitter, surely so
But I see through balanced eyes
I'm pulled beneath the undertow
But again I will rise
You fear what you don't understand
So you probably fear me
You are searching for a great man
But instead you just found me
I've put up lots of warning signs
I've tried to drop the hint
You thought I overdramatized
Took for granted what I meant
I don't trust your words or mind or heart
Hell I don't even trust mine
As many years as it's been ripped apart
It's amazing I'm alive
So before you look at me and think
'I could love someone like that'
Take a moment to consider things
My heart still feels under attack
So if you feel like you're on my side
And you're down to fight a war
Win or lose, with me you'll end the ride
I might be what you're looking for

Adorare

I cleansed my palate with gasoline today
You kissed my lips
Your match was lit
I immolated while you escaped
Stop - drop - role model?
Maybe
Extinguish me, lady
Put me out
Don't walk by while I'm dry
This is one hell of a drought
Put me out, put me out
My skin's ashen, in fumes
Don't you know that I worship?
My heart's enshrined to you
I am down on my knees
Igneous deformity
Hideous calamity
Don't give me up, dammit, please
What's the use
When I know you're a star
The light burned out so long ago
But I can't help that your gravity gets me going
Ellipse, I'm eclipsed
You persist, I resist
You insist, I'm remissed
I will cease to exist
If you cease and desist
So appease me with this
Won't you please just fall in the abyss?

Cliffhanger

When your eyes breeze through me like poetry
I feel like I'm falling from a cliff top
Right before I hit the ground, I am saved
By the grace of your gaze
Undermine my stubbornness with all that you are
Fire blazing, devouring, conquering the setting dark
Cliff diving couldn't defeat my awakening
In your steady, wind-rushed arms
I never do get used to salvation
Always attacking from the valley, marching the troops
To a surely insurmountable advancement
That is of course until you showed up
My resources were depleted
I was forced to the edge of a canyon's cliff
As I was prodded to the edge by my enemy
There you were, locking eyes with me
My grimace turned to a smile and my heart burst with joy
Life played back like a film in reverse
You were in every frame, smiling, laughing, dancing
We were so fragile
So enduring
So in love
A tear I didn't know my eyes concealed welled up as I smiled
When you smiled back at me, I smiled and said I loved you
Right before I hit the ground

Architecture Of Anger

Anger is a cage, but who is the prisoner?
Steel fortress shuns all visitors
Once you're in, you don't come out
If you're out, you won't ever make it in
The drawbridge is electrified
The walls are superconductive
The moat flows thick with sulfuric acid
Inside the fortress lies three men, guarding a secret
One is the architect
The other a maintenance man
The third a warden
Deep below the vaults lie a beast
The beast has not stopped howling for decades
Beaten, enslaved, depraved
It does not understand why it is there
It is hideous in form, unrelenting and volatile
It has destroyed the underbelly where a brilliant palace once stood
It destroyed every iteration of the palace several times
The warden wants it dead, but knows it is too strong
He locks it down and watches it, knowing it will kill if free
The maintenance man wants only to remain busily neutral
So long as his life can continue as it is
The architect is fascinated by it and quietly understands it
Even more so quietly, he empathizes with it
For years this has gone on
If only they knew that they were all parts of the same person
The architect
The worker
The warden
The beast
All are the prisoner in the cage of anger
All are the same person
That person is me
For so many years I have watched myself become consumed
I don't forgive. I don't forget. I don't let go.
Of anything.
Once you wrong me, you've wronged me forever
You mistrusted me once, doubted me once, questioned me once
I never live it down
I punish you forever
I punish myself tenfold
I understand your every fear
You were completely rational to doubt me and to question me
No human is perfect, especially not I
Yet I hold myself to such a standard, and you as well
That I cannot seem to let go of what you did to me
Nay, even more, I cannot seem to let go of what I did to you
I keep asking myself why you questioned, doubted, feared, mistrusted
I probe and probe until I become the problem
I drill and drill until I hate myself
Until I kill myself inside
Until I believe you want to kill me too
Anger is the cage
I am the beast
I am the worker
I am the warden
I am the architect
I am the prisoner
I don't know how to break free
But it's time I started trying

Fata Morgana

Inquisition lingers overhead
Maleficent minds prod my sanity
Lethe's rapids capsize the wayward vessel
No coastline menagerie in sight
In the still a ship appears
A distant reverie long forgot
My arms and legs stretch
Prepared to battle the riptides
The sun and moon exchange places twice
Upon the third twilight I arrive
There is no ship here
Just more of the vast sea
What was it I thought I saw?
Salvation? A second chance?
I saw what I wanted to see
Nonexistent opportunity
Did I waste my time swimming?
Did I do right to seize the moment?
It's all just an illusion
And like fools, we chase the bait

In Sorte Diaboli

Shade is just a lie
Heat penetrates skin
Blistering sun rises
Once again inopportune
Shadows crowd the soul
Cackling cacophony
Demons converse with skeletons
The dark lord lurks
Grim is the procession
Late is hour eleven
Hellfire is awaiting
The soul is lost
Mouths are open
No words are spoken
World turns once more
Judgment is here
Was this just a dream?
Wondering under the shade
Gaze upon the earth
Gaze upon hell
There is no refuge
Satan walks among us
Maybe he's one of us
Maybe us all

De Profundis

Bleeding out the day
We all bleed the same
Try to deny it
The dragon flies above
Scorching my beloved
I keep dying

Don't tempt me further
I can't light this candle anymore
My face is immolated
All of this is unrelated
God, I'm so frustrated
Won't you come and snuff this hatred?

Brother, ball and chain
Sister, forgotten my name
I'm torn apart
Mother, gone away
Father, hell awaits
Dead in my heart

Out of the depths
Out of the depths I tremble, crying out
But tears don't fall so easy from these eyes
Out of control
Out of control I tear my insides out
In hope some day my soul is pacified

Sacrifice

Death reigns inside my veins
I scatter ashes where I roam
Firelight inside these eyes
This world will never be my home

You can collect all you want
You can reject all you don't
You can pretend you're someone
It doesn't matter
Cuz at the end of the day
You're gonna die anyway
You might think you can be saved
But you won't

Some say the world will end in fire
Some say in ice
You're in such a hurry to expire
No sacrifice

Scorched earth is my rebirth
And like a phoenix I will rise
Carry the winds of change
While you await your home's demise

You know you saw it coming
You didn't change anything
You hate the doom that it brings
But you have earned it
You're only given one life
If you're not living it right
You better change it because
You can't return it

Some say the world will end in fire
Some say in ice
You're in such a hurry to expire
No sacrifice
Too lazy to make life better
You just roll the dice
Hell bent on your own pleasure
Nothing comes without sacrifice

You can't have it all
Sometimes you have to choose
Life is a gom jabbar
You've got so much to prove
So put your hand in the box
Don't be afraid of the pain
Fear is the mindkiller
But you can come away unscathed

Cancer

I. Diligo

I used to think you were the

Answer - I had so many questions in my life
I thought you came to help but now I know that you were just a
Cancer - you were malignant while I was benign
But now I cut you out - that's right, I cut you out

I opened my soul up to you
You took it all in - you found a good use
I made myself vulnerable
You wasted no time becoming a black hole
I tried to cope with what you were for so long
I tried to justify all of your wrongs
I thought that I was gonna be the one
But it's hard to be the one when there's hundreds in the waiting

Pain - this could kill me
Open heart surgery
I thought you loved me
I thought wrong

I gave you more than I could give
I thought you would be my reason to live
I etched your name upon my heart
You never loved me - you lied from the start
I backed away and you pulled me back in
You kept the world shielded from your sins
You hide behind a thousand masks within
But I saw through your lies, and like a fool I waited

Name - i.am. poison
My heart was beaten
You thought you could use me
You thought wrong

II. Abyssus

Abandon all hope, ye who enter in
The ice queen's lair a treacherous disguise
No peace outside if nothing is within
With red lips she is sealing my demise

The boundless acts of selfishness and sin
So many were deceived by all the lies
I justified her every foolish action
I could not see past the burns in my eyes

Piteous loathing to make me feel sorrow
I comfort you to sleep, I stayed awake
And when I finally rested to tomorrow
I'd already been bitten by the snake

You make your life seem like a saddened story
Passive aggressive, begging to be saved
You fooled so many as you stole their glory
And I was such a foolish willing slave

My soul burns alive
I am not alive
You were just a lie
You destroyed my life

III. Libertas

My eyes are open
How did I get in this cage?
I don't deserve this
I'll cast aside the chains
My heart is beating
I can't deny the pain
This time I'm leaving
I'm ready to live again

One last token of my good will
Shatter your fortress, expose your ill
You said you wanted to be free
Who better to do that than me?

I will carry the burden of an enemy
I will carry the burden of truth
I will cast out the burden of misery
I do not belong to you

We're free
So let it be
Finally free
Let it be

Freedom

Universe

You could just be my universe
and I could be okay with that.
I'll give you all the space you want,
just please remember where I am.
I do not share the common fears
of all the ones you've known before.
I do not fear most anything.
I will protect. I will provide.
I'm not scared of what's possible;
most of my fears reside among
others. I can't control your fate
nor do I truly want to try.
I just want you to know my fear
is that you'll live life without love
like mine.

Warden

It is hard to break out of a cage
unless you understand the mechanism
that confines you. Unless you know how you
ended up inside in the first place.
Oh, fear is no different. We committed
a crime against ourselves, yes. So what do we do?
We find our suspect inside our heart and
incarcerate them. Guilty until proven innocent,
that's our way of justice.
No clemency. No conjugal visit. Just isolation.
No warden dangling a key, snoring so we can
plot a great escape, no.
The key was always in our pockets.
We are the only residents.
The door was always unlocked.
We're here because we fear
freedom.

The sunlight burns my eyes. Such a heavy weight.
I will fear freedom no more.




"So crawl across this desert heat and become tragic with me. And now that we are not alone, you know that we could never be." - quoted from Safe Haven, written by Andrew Schwab

Who?

I'm not a funeral
I'm an incinerator
I'm not a card
I'm the game
I'm not an animal
I'm a species
I'm not a map
I'm a journey
I'm not an omen
I'm a prophet
I'm not what you want
I'm what you need
I'm not a question
I'm an answer
I'm not the darkness
I'm the night
I'm not medicine
I'm a cure
I'm not the one
I'm the only one

The Forgotten

I guess that
In the long run
I was no one
I'd run a blade through your heart
If I thought you had one
I'd sell my life away
To watch you come undone
I never thought I would be
The forgotten

Pick-Up

Pick up the phone
The night is dark
Cold and alone
So is my heart
A monster grows
Malignant? Hmm
So few do know
So few attempt
I want to speak
I want to cry
I'm trying hard
To stay alive
My enemy
Is time itself
I'll fight till I
Have nothing left
When I am drained
Beyond my strength
I'll reach for you
Whatever length
Will you be there
When I'm alone?
Will you pick up
The telephone?
It doesn't weigh
As much as me
But sometimes it
Is so heavy
I understand
I really do
My words are not
Good substitutes
I never was
That good at this
Is ignorance
So surely bliss?
I do not know
What else to say
I hope that I
Make sense someday
So now I lay
Me down to sleep
Please pray my life
Is mine to keep
But if I die
Before I wake
I hope my call
Is one you'll take

Idioms

You told me there's no atheists in foxholes
At first I was inclined to just agree
But then I couldn't help but be more thoughtful
I had to apply your wisdom to me
See, I have lived in foxholes my whole lifetime
And I believe in nothing to this day
So when I ponder what you tried to imply
I realize that was so dumb to say
I've struggled, battled, lost and won so many
For most of my life all I've known is war
I've loved and hated just as much as any
But unless there was conflict, I got bored
So what I'm saying isn't that I'm righteous
And I'm not even saying that I'm right
I'll probably be fighting till I'm lifeless
Because I know no other way of life
I don't believe in anything at all now
It doesn't mean that I have lost my faith
I'll fight for those I love, protect them somehow
From evil in the world that does await
I'll even protect my loved ones from myself
Because I know that I will scare them off
So if I'm just a picture on a bookshelf
Their lives might just be better after all
You said there were no atheists in foxholes
In most ways I'm inclined to just agree
But when I think about it, there's a plot hole
That idiom forgot to think of me

Unnecessary Mortal

Easily dismissed
You do not persist
Drop me like a bad habit
Pick up a new prick
Cunning narcissist
Live among the hypocrites

You're not innocent
You're just ignorant
There's a difference
You're never gonna find a way to
Deal with it
It's deliberate
So live in it
You're getting all that you deserve

Pleading out my case
Suddenly erased
Replaced by a brand new face
No more need for me
Bring me to my knees
Swing the blade, behead me please

The demon took a multi-armed form
She said, 'I am become death
Destroyer of worlds."
And as she spread her body
Consuming all around
She was destroyed herself

My Enemy

circa 2006

My enemy's in disbelief that I am still around today
To shake off all my misery, to channel it into a better place
My enemies are surrounding me with trials, tribulations abound
The fire's burning ever brighter as the day collapses with a fragile sound
My enemy's inside my mind and taunting me, telling me I'll never be
And everything I love, cherish, honor and fight for I'll never see
My enemy's always behind my back, always cluttering my shelf
But every time I see my enemy I see he looks so much like myself

My enemy is not alone, he breaks the mirror into shards
Ignites the past, burns me alive and carries glass into my scars
My enemy is not alone, she turns the key and slowly locks the door
Throws it away in my cavernous heart leaving me constantly begging for more
My enemy is not just a human being, it's a struggle from within
It's a fight I've longed to fight beside my life as I continue living in this sin
My enemy deserves to die but thrives, on my life and inner wealth
And every time I think I figured it out, I'm reminded it's myself

So can I beat my enemy? Will I make it? Am I not trying hard enough
Or is my enemy just problematic, is my enemy really that tough?
Can I take my enemy and kill it, every morning every day?
Can I drown it, beat it, and defeat it, or will I lose my own way?
If I'm to triumph on my enemy, my enemy must become my friend
If I'm to see all of the means, then I must make due with the ends
If I'm to stop my enemy from succeeding and taking all that's left
I've got to see my enemy is controlled by none other than myself

Disease

My life is just beginning as we speak
Oh I feel so weak
I could just hold onto you forever
You're nurturing me and you'll make me whole
Till we both grow old
I can see we'll always be together
But something's hiding in your eyes
And you know I don't like surprises
So tell me what is stirring in your soul

You told me I've got a lot in common with disease
You told me I've been weighing you down with all of my needs
You told me that you loved me, but you're weakening in the knees
So now it's time to let me go

You cut me off and I thought I would die
But all I did was cry
I wanted to crawl in a hole forever
I tried to come back and apologize
And I failed to realize
I took and took, yet I gave never
There's something showing in my eyes
I know now why you finalized us
I think that I'm beginning to feel whole

I found out I had a lot in common with disease
I found out I'd drained you as though I were just a leech
I will always love you, but I see I made you weak
So I'm okay to let you go

I grew out of my pattern long ago
Can't do that anymore
Been standing on my feet forever
I've had a few diseases all my own
They've since been overthrown
I'm so thankful for the storms I've weathered
So if you're hearing me right now
These words I'm saying clear and loud
It's time for you to take back the control

Some people, they just have a lot in common with disease
Some people just don't feel right unless they're making you feel weak
You can love them, but you don't have to live with their defeat
I'm saying it's okay to let them go

Victory

I will throw my enemy down tonight
I will smite your ruin upon the mountainside
I will fight - I will conquer
You have strength - but I am stronger
I will taste the victory this time

I did not pass through fire and death
To deal with you - so save your last breath
I did not fall through space and time
To banter with you, pitiful slime
You have abandoned righteousness
You chose a path of sightless bliss
I come to you to deliver justice
For those who carry the sentence must swing the sword

I will swing for the nape under your head
You will fall now, lifeless and dead
All your miseries I will undo
Those who fell to your spell - I release you
I will draw you like poison from a wound
I will not stop until your rule is removed
You will be banished, undone, entombed
For those who lust for power come before a fall

And fall you must
All you wicked, conceited and cancerous
I will hunt you down from ash to dust
I will stand and rejoice, victorious

Weeping Willow

I shed not an autumn leaf
Rainfall doesn't bother me
I am not a rolling stone
Yet I gather moss all on my own
Branches hanging in the air
Have you ever been up there?

It alone is where I long to be
But rooted in the ground, my destiny

I care not for heat and fire
My bark entrenched in the mire
Nurturing the smaller folk
My life seems a cruel joke
Someone out there tell me why
I can't soar the open sky

For it alone is where I long to be
Rooting futile in the ground is my destiny
I don't feel I'm asking much, just an atmospheric touch
Please free me from this cursed gravity

As I wither slowly down
All of me is earthen bound
I knew you wouldn't grant my wish
I knew that it would come to this
I've fought so hard against my grain
There's no thought left to entertain

The skyward plots are where I longed to be
Even now I wish they were here with me
My soil is old and I am too, I've lingered too long here with you
Come claim your victim, gravity

Statue

circa 1999

Stood in front of you
With both my hands in my pockets
That's not like me
My hands should always be busy
Wonder how long you've
Watched me
Directionless misery
Set me free or leave me be
Watch your face light up behind the screen
So in touch with everyone
But me
Waiting
Waiting
Waiting for an answer
It isn't coming
It never will. You are
Scared - immobilized, because of the
Chance I might be real
Might just have to learn to
Be happy
Might just have to learn
True love
It's alright. Much safer here
Never go outside, my love
My hand stretches to a void
I am permanence among this rat race
Permanence decays

Convent Moll

Smokey room and dusted eyes
Same four walls and shattered glass
Heaven's gaze has turned away
But the red mark on your door stays
Come to me with broken hands
Come to me because you can
I will heal you, consume your suffering
You will drain me until nothing remains

Pray for the end
You've yet to begin
I hear your prayer for the end
But you've yet to begin

Curl like fog around my veins
Set like sun on flattened hills
There is beauty 'neath your will
Sink your teeth in me once again
Taste my blood and carve your name
Wrap your fingers 'round my nerves
Push me away with inertia's weight
Slip into the abyss where you long to be

Pray for the end
You've yet to begin
I hear your prayer for the end
But you've yet to begin

Short of breath at every pulse
Juxtaposed and tangled up
Moving slowly, moving fast
Moment comes, then flies away
Something's writhing in this bed
Has the serpent reared its head?
Coiled and shaking, venomous
Devour me, Ouroboros

A Love Song For Slashers

I know your pain
I know your name
There seems to be no ending
To your private shame
I don't presume to think I know enough about
The answers to tell you what to do
But I will ask all the questions that everyone is
Scared to ask of you

Put down the knife, my sister
Put down the blade
I swear I stand here with you
I won't watch you carve your name again

I know your face
I know your eyes
Nobody knows the truth
But I can see right through the lies
You dance around everyone with a smile
And long clothing to hide your skin
You feel like damaged goods, but all I see
Is how beautiful you've always been

So put down the knife, my sister
Put down the blade
I swear I'll stand here with you
I won't watch you carve your name again
Put down the weapon, sister
Put down the gun
I've always loved you for what you are
And what you have yet to become

You can't erase yourself from the ones who care
Even if you feel like you were never there
I will always want you. I will always want you.
I will always want you to finish writing your story

So pick up the pen, my sister
Refill the ink
I swear I'll stand here with you
Writing love on your arms as my heart weeps
Release emotions, my sister
Release yourself
Be free and know this world needs you
Your story isn't over yet

Dark Art Persuasion

You need me don't you?
No, not me.
Yes.
No, just anybody.
So much easier perhaps with a willing subject.
Call me a lab rat.
Call me anything.
Just, please, call me.

Most certain I'm stricken by you.
Everything's hazy right now.
I used to tell mom I'd be a good man; now I'm not so sure.
Nobody was flocking to my side.
But you were there for me, weren't you?
You bound my hands and told me you loved me.
And then came the book.
The candle.
The mirror.
The pipe.
All crashing down on the back of my skull.
No tear was shed when my hands were covered red.

I was wondering, darling, must we fight tonight?
I have never learned anything from an argument.
I have never learned anything from being demeaned.
I hope you're gaining something when you strike me.
I'm okay.
I can take it.
I still love you.
I promise I'll never leave.

Dark is the art of your persuasion.
Cold is the heart in your chest.
I once longed to lie on your breast and tell you my story.
Now you raise your voice.
You reach for a sharp object.
I won't ever tell anyone, my dear.
Your secret is safe right here on my arm.
No cause for alarm.
I'm okay.
I can take it.
I still love you.
Just please don't ever leave.

I remember why you said this would happen.
"I'm sorry, I just do and say things I don't mean when I'm upset."
Escalation.
Rationalization.
Damnation.
You gave me no real reason.
Now I am its embodiment.
I walk alone with the torment.
I bear both your scars and mine.
They just show up and hurt all the time.
But I'm okay.
I took it.
I still love you.
But I just had to leave.

The Lies Of The Avatars

Good morning, world
Have you yet to mix your controlled substance?
Take a swig and log in to your pretense
So much better than what you see outside
You're a hero here, but for how long?
You gain levels and don't truly feel strong
Nobody told you you're doing this all wrong
But you succumb to the lie

It's so comfortable to say things you don't mean
To be sucked into a screen
To be someone you are not
It's so wonderful to disassociate
I think it's time to reevaluate
'Cause I won't watch you sit and rot

Good evening, world
Have you yet to take a look out of your window?
Take a glimpse and see the sunset as the night goes
But you're feeling so much safer here inside
You can make a friend, but for how long?
Fall in love with strangers and move on
But take away the vice and the love is gone
Yet you succumb to the lie

It's so comfortable to say things you don't mean
To be sucked into a screen
To be someone you are not
It's so wonderful to disassociate
I think it's time to reevaluate
'Cause I won't watch you sit and rot

Can't you see you're stifling your mind?
Don't you know you haven't really done a thing?
Watch your money dissipate with your life
Just for the temporary glory that it brings

You're trapped inside a web of lies
They've got you right where they want you
And when you start to look back on your life
All this time wasted will haunt you

Good morning, world
Nice to see you outside here in the fresh spring air
Doesn't it feel great to see the rising sun?
I know it was so much safer inside
But now you know that your old life was wrong
You're here among us right where you belong
Let's adventure together by the dawn
Broken free of the lie

It's so amazing to be everything you are
To see this galaxy of stars
Using your own eyes
It's so powerful to put our lives into words
To accept our universe
And to know that we're alive

So let's live

... To The Stars

The end is now upon me
And I no longer see you in the light
The journey's at an end here
And I'd kept hoping we would intertwine
I found you once, I lost you twice
I searched for you across the reach of space
I knew that I'd see you again
To tell you of the stars one day

I traveled to the heavens
To follow all your long forgotten trails
I worked and toiled forever
And all I did until the end was fail
Or perhaps I didn't lose at all
Perhaps the journey was always meant to be
These words I have left here for you
For I said I'd tell you of the stars one day

I was ever longing for you
I lost my nerve and led myself astray
Searched endlessly to find you
But my journey to the stars ends today
I chased for you so long now
I'm resigned to letting you run away
And even though I feel broken
I know that one day I will find my way

I will find a way
I will find my way
I will find a way
I will find my way

From The Earth...

The gentle newness of a birth
Beholding something that is ours
All products of our mother Earth
And yet we venture to the stars

Tethered forever to the dirt
Gravity keeps us behind bars
You asked me "What is this life worth?
When will you take me to the stars?"

Our love ignited like a flame
And then it diminished with time
Myself I will forever blame
Indicted self of my own crime

You protected yourself from hurt
You set off on adventures far
This story's begat from the Earth
But now it takes me to the stars

To the stars - I search for you, I go
To the stars - I search for you, I go

To the stars

Emancipation

The word warm doesn't do you justice
You're brighter than the sun
The word beauty is uttered lifeless
For it you have overcome
Never did I believe that I'd cross you
A specter of the past long gone
Always thought that I had lost you
But now you're back here in my arms
How can it be? I still don't know you
Did you travel that far across time?
Have you seen the life I've had to go through?
Have you been trying to get into mine?
Well now you made it, you're here and I love you
Your colors shine so bright in my eyes
For so long I have been thinking of you
And now you're here to light up my skies
So please tell me this day has no ending
Please tell me that you're here for me
Unto you my heart I am rending
Oh, this wandering soul you've set free

Use Once And Dispose

The door shuts and the feeling returns
Eyes are open, stinging again
The hour is late and the fan blades spin
Knowledge of these transgressions learned
I am an inconvenience to you
Of this I have always been aware
Yet you blame me when no one is there
When your face turns a black shade of blue
Hold your breath just to see if you faint
In the hopes that I won't let you fall
I won't be there to save you at all
Lover, savior or partner? I ain't
Just a toy that you use when needed
Bled dry when all I have is gone
No perception of right or wrong
Crushed to dust, left for nothing, defeated
So I know that your life is rough
Must be nice to live comfortably
Must be great to have somebody
While I'm begging to just have enough
Remember who you're talking to
On that day that you're feeling down
When you stick my face in the ground
Just remember the life you choose
When you move onto someone new
Just remember I'm still around
Broken, beaten but still unbound
Yeah I guess I'll still wait here for you.

Not Interested

You come at me with a smiling face and a gentle kiss
You hold me in your arms with a temporary bliss
Your naivete never seems to get you far
Perhaps you'd work much better if you were who you are
COME ON - tell me that I am your focus
COME ON - tell me that this is not hopeless
COME ON - you and I both know it's bogus
This is hocus pocus

You're asking me to save you
You're begging me to tame you
You want me to make room in my heart
Sorry - not interested
You're hurting yourself for my attention
And you've forgotten to mention
You've already split yourself apart
Sorry - not interested

You called me up the other day and hung the phone back up
You wrote to me and told me I should keep in touch
How many other people are longing for your love?
How many have to burn before you've had enough?
COME ON - tell me you know what you're doing
COME ON - tell me the caged bird still has wings
COME ON - you and I both know it's nothing
So just give me something

You're asking me to save you
You're begging me to tame you
You want me to make room in my heart
Sorry - not interested
You're hurting yourself for my attention
And you've forgotten to mention
You've already split yourself apart
Sorry - not interested

Like an octopus's tentacles
You reach out and squeeze your victims
But when they fight back for their life
You try to make them feel wrong
But I've got my own set of spectacles
And I know you're the one that did this
You may die believing you were right
But I've known the truth all along

Reverse psychology
Not gonna work on me
The pain you inflicted
Left me uninterested
You try to turn it around
You can't get off the ground
God you're so limited
Sorry, I'm not interested

Back To You

Come now, angel, don't you cry
I'll sing you a lullaby
When you're weak, I will be strong
If I go, it won't be for long
I'll come running back to you
I'll come humbly back to you
I've been yours for all of time
When dark reigned, you made me shine
When I sing, you give me rhyme
I am yours, and you are mine
I come running back to you
I come humbly back to you
When my soul's in need of you
You fill me, make me renewed
So I'll come running back to you
I'll come humbly back to you
You can never disappear
When my eyes close, you're still here
I can feel you in the air
You are always everywhere
So though you left this earth last night
I know I will be alright
Not one single tear I'll cry
I know you are standing by
I come running back to you
I come humbly back to you
When I feel like life's a waste
And I can't fill an empty space
I will remember your face
And earth will be a brighter place
I'll come running back to you
I'll come humbly back to you
Every time I'm in decline
I'm still yours, and you're still mine
Every time I stand up proud
I'll say your name right out loud
I'll keep running back to you
I'm still humble 'cause of you
Your fire always burns in me
I'll love you eternally

Better Now

Standing by myself, it's no surprise
Crystalline and clear within your eyes
I hold you closer by the dimming lights
And we will stay together here tonight
Like the fire you see in my soul
It's burning bright and out of my control
Ignite the spark inside you, set you free
So I don't miss what's right in front of me

There's never gonna be a better now
We might as well hold onto this somehow
If there's a way to stay
I'll find it here today
Inside your memory
There's never gonna be
A better now

Superficial lines upon your skin
And all your beauty still resides within
I started up a fight I'll never win
The day I gave myself to you again
I'm holding on inside to something gone
I don't know if it's right or if it's wrong
I just know that my heart will not let go
And I think that it's time I let you know that

There's never gonna be a better now
We might as well hold onto this somehow
If there's a way to stay
I'll find it here today
Inside your memory
There's never gonna be
A better now

One of these days you'll walk my way
One of these days you'll want to stay
And one of these days you'll take this broken heart
And mend it up for me
I can see you now

There wasn't supposed to be another time
I'm waiting here for you to walk this line

There's never gonna be a better now
We might as well hold onto this somehow
If there's a way to stay
I'll find it here today
Inside your memory
There's never gonna be
A better now

I'm better now
I'm better now
I'm better now

Lamentation

It would be best if you'd forgotten me
I've naught to offer this old sordid Earth
I never was to find a life of glee
I never was to realize my worth
My soul is all but ready to depart
My body wrecked and slowly come undone
You now must sever memory from your heart
Save space in there should you find anyone
Not I, though. No not I. I'll fade away
I'll drift with blackest eyes into the ground
No eulogistic words or reckoning day
Could stop this ancient horrifying sound
Waiting to pass beyond the grasp of light
My coffin borne six feet through dirt removed
I tried but I could never win the fight
I spoke the truth of things I never proved
I wasted life and have nothing to show
I could not find a solitary love
No prying spades shall bother me below
Thankful that I am no longer above
You did not understand me once at all
That will not be a problem anymore
Gone quietly into the Reaper's call
To find what lies beyond Lethean shores
One day you'll understand what I have earned
I loved and could not find love in return
I lived with passion, fire inside me burned
And nary was a single lesson learned
Please do not cry for me unless you must
My heart was there for all of you entwined
And though I may now be a child of dust
I remain in you till the end of time

Subterfuge

Three hundred and sixty degrees
Ninety one more and you could burn the world's knowledge
Two hundred sixty one point four less and you could reach my core
But for now you're just spinning full circle
Over and over
Like a pointless carousel of carnage
Yeah, I guess my soul is tarnished
Don't even try to tell me yours isn't the same.
What do you see when you look at me?
When you look at you?
When you look at them?
Do you stand befuddled and haw and hem
Or do you find the quickest path to conformity?
Look astonished at the world's enormity
Don't worry, you're about to hear a lot more of me
Or you can do what the rest of the world does
Jack back into the Matrix
Live your life in cryostasis
With every breath in me I hate this
Baseless, faceless society
Sucked into tablets and iPad screens
You think you're smart just because you read
But you've forgotten to retain the information
Forgotten to obtain a revelation
Free to choose your slavery
Divination?
No. I'm just erupting like a mountain of truth
Everlasting and pure like a fountain of youth
Yet pressing and invoking like a burden of proof
You cannot deny.
You're living a lie.
But it's okay, so am I.

Days

She speaks to me in riddles every single morning
It helps her think that she is "staying on her toes"
She wears her makeup thick upon her face
It helps her cover all her woes
She never cared too much 'bout anything
It helps her make it through her day
She picks herself up later every night
When all the facades fade away

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, pain
Thursday, Friday, Saturday, rain
Sunday, time to find herself again
If she can

She cries herself to sleep after every conversation
It helps the guilt coerce itself to memory
She leaves the world behind at every inconvenience
It helps the past ride itself out to misery
She still remembers when I kissed her goodnight
It doesn't help, but it doesn't hurt
She can recall professing love by moonlight
And she's tried to stop, but she still knows what it's worth

Through Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, pain
And Thursdays all through Saturdays, rain
On Sunday, there is time to find herself again
She knows she can find herself again

She gets so many things she wants
She covers herself with nothing that she needs
She lies to herself and all of the world
But she still knows the truth, she still keeps her dream

One day when it's over, one day when it's past
And all of these things have fallen away
She'll recover the meaning, she'll be there at last
And I never left sight of her beautiful face

The cruelest pain is I can't set her free
The saddest thing is I can't make her see
The worst feeling is I must let her be
For the most important thing to me is she

Reversal

All tides turn and all dreams change
I used to stay awake throughout the night
Now sleep is my own personal nepenthe
Sleep sleep sleep
Let time flow without me in it for a change
For so long I would tell my friends and everyone
"Sleep is for the dead. There are things to do."
Those things are gone now.
Yes he said it, yes he did,
Robert Flynn spoke words for me:
"Gone is my faded dream; failure, I welcome in thou."
But there is no beautiful mourning.
What was buried has risen like Jesus
Scouring the earth, the walking dead
I pluck the strings and recoil aghast at the beauty of the intonation
The chords stir my soul to reawaken
But all I want to do is sleep.
I found songs inside myself.
I cannot trust nor hope the notes I hear
But those notes are the reason I'm still here.
They're not for me;
They're for you.
I found them in my soul and brought them here
For you.
It doesn't matter if you don't care.
Just like I did long ago, you will have to face these notes.
You will have to face them and decide
If you feel the same you did as before you heard them.
And once the words echo past the notes, oh
You will have to decide again.
And my only hope is that after the tones have long decayed
That you will have changed your mind
And I will live again.

I Don't

You asked me what was wrong
I asked you in turn what was right
You stared at the floor as though my question
Cauterized your soul as it shot the moon
You said two words to me
I asked you what they meant
You conjured a fire in your eyes
But your soul could not so much as light a spark
So where do we go from here?
When the skies are grey, is the ocean more clear?
We never even looked down to see
For when the clouds gather we all hurry off from the sea
Just for once, I would wait for you here
On the shores of an ocean in torrential fare
I told myself that my life didn't matter to me
But if it matters to you, then I won't set myself free
I just wish you would admit that you saw my soul
My eyes a crystal blue disguise and they're taking their toll
I didn't know my heart would cave right in
I didn't know my life would lean on yours in the end
Just for once, I would give you my life
I'd spin the clock back in time to tell you that you were right
I didn't know how much I loved you then
But I know now that I will love you until my end
And I don't know when the day is coming
But as my bones drag slowly I feel time is running me down
You're not around
I suppose that's destiny
I can't believe they took the best of me
I would give all my life for you
But knowing you won't give a minute is a blade running through
My spine
No turning time
I wasted all of mine and now I am slowly unwinding
If we're not growing together, we're growing apart
What is left to say? You always owned my heart

In Between

I don't have anything to offer you
Just the normal black and blue
You've taken all that I had ever gained
I've tried and tried just to make it through
To watch myself come unglued
There isn't much inside that still remains
Empty my life to your eyes
Pour my heart onto a screen
Return null and void, wonder why
Love is this darkening scene
I have no voice left to rationalize
The rolling thunder will not hear my cries
And the black clouds will settle on me
I've fought so hard against your lies
There's simply nothing otherwise
And I wish you'd just walk away from me
I have emptied my life to your eyes
I have poured myself onto your screen
My return has been nothing, but why?
Why can't I find love in between?
Life dealt us different hands, this truth I understand
But isn't it more important how you play the game?
I'm not the same old man, I found a different plan
So why can't you try to do the same?
I met you halfway there, you gave me the blankest stare
I never thought I'd see you so naive
I made the sacrifice, you refuse to compromise
Keep telling myself that I can't believe
Well I guess it's time I found some faith
Because you just straight up walked away
I'm not surprised
I'm not alive

I, Mistake

Life has been packed in boxes for the last eight years
Been in the same place for the last three, but still leery
Still aware that anything could change
Why is safety such a lie?
Ship is sturdy, crew is strong and experienced
Why not drop anchor? This place is death.
This place is dead.
Can't focus with obfuscated eyes
Don't feel truth among force-fed lies
See you in periphery
See you close yet so far away
Come back, leave, make a choice, stop repeating
A mistake that you can't seem to break
The mistake points to itself
The mistake is a reflection
The mistake is a shadow as the clock turns midnight
Who feels in the clouds when the feet are attached to sediment?
Mistake begs for your words, yet you remain reticent
This is so self-evident
You have set no precedent
The mistake is just a snowflake. Just a drop from the sky falling on your tongue
You, the lover of snow, you make angels and play
The mistake will linger for time, but soon will collapse into water and lose its novelty
And onto the rest of the snow you will go.
Just a blink in the eye
Just another shadow as the clock turns midnight
This ground is familiar. This ground is death.
This ground is dead.

Get Lost

I just stamped my ticket to the Hindenburg, baby
I'm ready to go down in flames
I just jumped off the plane without a parachute, so
Well I guess I've gone insane

Or maybe I realize that there is no such thing as solid ground
Maybe I realize that I must get lost if I wanna get found

Ten years down and I've turned it all around
Since the day I found my way
Ten years down and still making sounds
I will always defy your hate

Or maybe I realize that there is no such thing as solid ground
Maybe I realize that I must get lost if I wanna get found

Enter the wilderness, no turning back
If I break all my bones I will shove them back
Into place, I must win this race
Get out of my face, I'm done with this place

I said I'm done with this place
Now who's coming with me?

Said that I realize there is no such thing as solid ground
And I realize that we must get lost if we wanna get found