Reproba Gaudium

When it rains, it pours
When it pours, it floods
I don't expect you'd understand
When I fall, it's far
When I'm down, I reach
But I've never seen a helping hand

We all collide effortlessly into another
Magnetized by our vices, our petty compromises

My toe's on the line
At war all the time
I don't expect to ever win
When I hit, it's hard
When you fall, you die
And you will never breathe again

Don't you remember the place you would go to escape?
The place where your dreams were fulfilled and your soul was alive?
I can imagine it now in the blackness of dusk
I can see beautiful stars past the blood and the rust
Rollicking meadows of beauty inspired my heart
Broken bones healed, tears rolled down but weren't such a bad thing
Sun sets and rises and I knew wasn't alone
Peasants and criminals borne of the same blood as kings

There was a time in my innocent youth I recall
Wanting to answer the voices of missions and war
Happy the thoughts of a victory upon a hill
Never quite sure why I'm fighting or truly what for
Now looking back I want to reprimand my young self
Not too harsh, no, just avert my eyes from foolish glory
Hubris like that wrings a debt in the soul of a man
I just hope I still have time to rewrite my own story