Pick-Up

Pick up the phone
The night is dark
Cold and alone
So is my heart
A monster grows
Malignant? Hmm
So few do know
So few attempt
I want to speak
I want to cry
I'm trying hard
To stay alive
My enemy
Is time itself
I'll fight till I
Have nothing left
When I am drained
Beyond my strength
I'll reach for you
Whatever length
Will you be there
When I'm alone?
Will you pick up
The telephone?
It doesn't weigh
As much as me
But sometimes it
Is so heavy
I understand
I really do
My words are not
Good substitutes
I never was
That good at this
Is ignorance
So surely bliss?
I do not know
What else to say
I hope that I
Make sense someday
So now I lay
Me down to sleep
Please pray my life
Is mine to keep
But if I die
Before I wake
I hope my call
Is one you'll take

Idioms

You told me there's no atheists in foxholes
At first I was inclined to just agree
But then I couldn't help but be more thoughtful
I had to apply your wisdom to me
See, I have lived in foxholes my whole lifetime
And I believe in nothing to this day
So when I ponder what you tried to imply
I realize that was so dumb to say
I've struggled, battled, lost and won so many
For most of my life all I've known is war
I've loved and hated just as much as any
But unless there was conflict, I got bored
So what I'm saying isn't that I'm righteous
And I'm not even saying that I'm right
I'll probably be fighting till I'm lifeless
Because I know no other way of life
I don't believe in anything at all now
It doesn't mean that I have lost my faith
I'll fight for those I love, protect them somehow
From evil in the world that does await
I'll even protect my loved ones from myself
Because I know that I will scare them off
So if I'm just a picture on a bookshelf
Their lives might just be better after all
You said there were no atheists in foxholes
In most ways I'm inclined to just agree
But when I think about it, there's a plot hole
That idiom forgot to think of me

Unnecessary Mortal

Easily dismissed
You do not persist
Drop me like a bad habit
Pick up a new prick
Cunning narcissist
Live among the hypocrites

You're not innocent
You're just ignorant
There's a difference
You're never gonna find a way to
Deal with it
It's deliberate
So live in it
You're getting all that you deserve

Pleading out my case
Suddenly erased
Replaced by a brand new face
No more need for me
Bring me to my knees
Swing the blade, behead me please

The demon took a multi-armed form
She said, 'I am become death
Destroyer of worlds."
And as she spread her body
Consuming all around
She was destroyed herself

My Enemy

circa 2006

My enemy's in disbelief that I am still around today
To shake off all my misery, to channel it into a better place
My enemies are surrounding me with trials, tribulations abound
The fire's burning ever brighter as the day collapses with a fragile sound
My enemy's inside my mind and taunting me, telling me I'll never be
And everything I love, cherish, honor and fight for I'll never see
My enemy's always behind my back, always cluttering my shelf
But every time I see my enemy I see he looks so much like myself

My enemy is not alone, he breaks the mirror into shards
Ignites the past, burns me alive and carries glass into my scars
My enemy is not alone, she turns the key and slowly locks the door
Throws it away in my cavernous heart leaving me constantly begging for more
My enemy is not just a human being, it's a struggle from within
It's a fight I've longed to fight beside my life as I continue living in this sin
My enemy deserves to die but thrives, on my life and inner wealth
And every time I think I figured it out, I'm reminded it's myself

So can I beat my enemy? Will I make it? Am I not trying hard enough
Or is my enemy just problematic, is my enemy really that tough?
Can I take my enemy and kill it, every morning every day?
Can I drown it, beat it, and defeat it, or will I lose my own way?
If I'm to triumph on my enemy, my enemy must become my friend
If I'm to see all of the means, then I must make due with the ends
If I'm to stop my enemy from succeeding and taking all that's left
I've got to see my enemy is controlled by none other than myself

Disease

My life is just beginning as we speak
Oh I feel so weak
I could just hold onto you forever
You're nurturing me and you'll make me whole
Till we both grow old
I can see we'll always be together
But something's hiding in your eyes
And you know I don't like surprises
So tell me what is stirring in your soul

You told me I've got a lot in common with disease
You told me I've been weighing you down with all of my needs
You told me that you loved me, but you're weakening in the knees
So now it's time to let me go

You cut me off and I thought I would die
But all I did was cry
I wanted to crawl in a hole forever
I tried to come back and apologize
And I failed to realize
I took and took, yet I gave never
There's something showing in my eyes
I know now why you finalized us
I think that I'm beginning to feel whole

I found out I had a lot in common with disease
I found out I'd drained you as though I were just a leech
I will always love you, but I see I made you weak
So I'm okay to let you go

I grew out of my pattern long ago
Can't do that anymore
Been standing on my feet forever
I've had a few diseases all my own
They've since been overthrown
I'm so thankful for the storms I've weathered
So if you're hearing me right now
These words I'm saying clear and loud
It's time for you to take back the control

Some people, they just have a lot in common with disease
Some people just don't feel right unless they're making you feel weak
You can love them, but you don't have to live with their defeat
I'm saying it's okay to let them go

Victory

I will throw my enemy down tonight
I will smite your ruin upon the mountainside
I will fight - I will conquer
You have strength - but I am stronger
I will taste the victory this time

I did not pass through fire and death
To deal with you - so save your last breath
I did not fall through space and time
To banter with you, pitiful slime
You have abandoned righteousness
You chose a path of sightless bliss
I come to you to deliver justice
For those who carry the sentence must swing the sword

I will swing for the nape under your head
You will fall now, lifeless and dead
All your miseries I will undo
Those who fell to your spell - I release you
I will draw you like poison from a wound
I will not stop until your rule is removed
You will be banished, undone, entombed
For those who lust for power come before a fall

And fall you must
All you wicked, conceited and cancerous
I will hunt you down from ash to dust
I will stand and rejoice, victorious

Weeping Willow

I shed not an autumn leaf
Rainfall doesn't bother me
I am not a rolling stone
Yet I gather moss all on my own
Branches hanging in the air
Have you ever been up there?

It alone is where I long to be
But rooted in the ground, my destiny

I care not for heat and fire
My bark entrenched in the mire
Nurturing the smaller folk
My life seems a cruel joke
Someone out there tell me why
I can't soar the open sky

For it alone is where I long to be
Rooting futile in the ground is my destiny
I don't feel I'm asking much, just an atmospheric touch
Please free me from this cursed gravity

As I wither slowly down
All of me is earthen bound
I knew you wouldn't grant my wish
I knew that it would come to this
I've fought so hard against my grain
There's no thought left to entertain

The skyward plots are where I longed to be
Even now I wish they were here with me
My soil is old and I am too, I've lingered too long here with you
Come claim your victim, gravity