circa 1999
Stood in front of you
With both my hands in my pockets
That's not like me
My hands should always be busy
Wonder how long you've
Watched me
Directionless misery
Set me free or leave me be
Watch your face light up behind the screen
So in touch with everyone
But me
Waiting
Waiting
Waiting for an answer
It isn't coming
It never will. You are
Scared - immobilized, because of the
Chance I might be real
Might just have to learn to
Be happy
Might just have to learn
True love
It's alright. Much safer here
Never go outside, my love
My hand stretches to a void
I am permanence among this rat race
Permanence decays
Friday, July 22, 2011
Convent Moll
Smokey room and dusted eyes
Same four walls and shattered glass
Heaven's gaze has turned away
But the red mark on your door stays
Come to me with broken hands
Come to me because you can
I will heal you, consume your suffering
You will drain me until nothing remains
Pray for the end
You've yet to begin
I hear your prayer for the end
But you've yet to begin
Curl like fog around my veins
Set like sun on flattened hills
There is beauty 'neath your will
Sink your teeth in me once again
Taste my blood and carve your name
Wrap your fingers 'round my nerves
Push me away with inertia's weight
Slip into the abyss where you long to be
Pray for the end
You've yet to begin
I hear your prayer for the end
But you've yet to begin
Short of breath at every pulse
Juxtaposed and tangled up
Moving slowly, moving fast
Moment comes, then flies away
Something's writhing in this bed
Has the serpent reared its head?
Coiled and shaking, venomous
Devour me, Ouroboros
Same four walls and shattered glass
Heaven's gaze has turned away
But the red mark on your door stays
Come to me with broken hands
Come to me because you can
I will heal you, consume your suffering
You will drain me until nothing remains
Pray for the end
You've yet to begin
I hear your prayer for the end
But you've yet to begin
Curl like fog around my veins
Set like sun on flattened hills
There is beauty 'neath your will
Sink your teeth in me once again
Taste my blood and carve your name
Wrap your fingers 'round my nerves
Push me away with inertia's weight
Slip into the abyss where you long to be
Pray for the end
You've yet to begin
I hear your prayer for the end
But you've yet to begin
Short of breath at every pulse
Juxtaposed and tangled up
Moving slowly, moving fast
Moment comes, then flies away
Something's writhing in this bed
Has the serpent reared its head?
Coiled and shaking, venomous
Devour me, Ouroboros
Monday, May 16, 2011
A Love Song For Slashers
I know your pain
I know your name
There seems to be no ending
To your private shame
I don't presume to think I know enough about
The answers to tell you what to do
But I will ask all the questions that everyone is
Scared to ask of you
Put down the knife, my sister
Put down the blade
I swear I stand here with you
I won't watch you carve your name again
I know your face
I know your eyes
Nobody knows the truth
But I can see right through the lies
You dance around everyone with a smile
And long clothing to hide your skin
You feel like damaged goods, but all I see
Is how beautiful you've always been
So put down the knife, my sister
Put down the blade
I swear I'll stand here with you
I won't watch you carve your name again
Put down the weapon, sister
Put down the gun
I've always loved you for what you are
And what you have yet to become
You can't erase yourself from the ones who care
Even if you feel like you were never there
I will always want you. I will always want you.
I will always want you to finish writing your story
So pick up the pen, my sister
Refill the ink
I swear I'll stand here with you
Writing love on your arms as my heart weeps
Release emotions, my sister
Release yourself
Be free and know this world needs you
Your story isn't over yet
I know your name
There seems to be no ending
To your private shame
I don't presume to think I know enough about
The answers to tell you what to do
But I will ask all the questions that everyone is
Scared to ask of you
Put down the knife, my sister
Put down the blade
I swear I stand here with you
I won't watch you carve your name again
I know your face
I know your eyes
Nobody knows the truth
But I can see right through the lies
You dance around everyone with a smile
And long clothing to hide your skin
You feel like damaged goods, but all I see
Is how beautiful you've always been
So put down the knife, my sister
Put down the blade
I swear I'll stand here with you
I won't watch you carve your name again
Put down the weapon, sister
Put down the gun
I've always loved you for what you are
And what you have yet to become
You can't erase yourself from the ones who care
Even if you feel like you were never there
I will always want you. I will always want you.
I will always want you to finish writing your story
So pick up the pen, my sister
Refill the ink
I swear I'll stand here with you
Writing love on your arms as my heart weeps
Release emotions, my sister
Release yourself
Be free and know this world needs you
Your story isn't over yet
Dark Art Persuasion
You need me don't you?
No, not me.
Yes.
No, just anybody.
So much easier perhaps with a willing subject.
Call me a lab rat.
Call me anything.
Just, please, call me.
Most certain I'm stricken by you.
Everything's hazy right now.
I used to tell mom I'd be a good man; now I'm not so sure.
Nobody was flocking to my side.
But you were there for me, weren't you?
You bound my hands and told me you loved me.
And then came the book.
The candle.
The mirror.
The pipe.
All crashing down on the back of my skull.
No tear was shed when my hands were covered red.
I was wondering, darling, must we fight tonight?
I have never learned anything from an argument.
I have never learned anything from being demeaned.
I hope you're gaining something when you strike me.
I'm okay.
I can take it.
I still love you.
I promise I'll never leave.
Dark is the art of your persuasion.
Cold is the heart in your chest.
I once longed to lie on your breast and tell you my story.
Now you raise your voice.
You reach for a sharp object.
I won't ever tell anyone, my dear.
Your secret is safe right here on my arm.
No cause for alarm.
I'm okay.
I can take it.
I still love you.
Just please don't ever leave.
I remember why you said this would happen.
"I'm sorry, I just do and say things I don't mean when I'm upset."
Escalation.
Rationalization.
Damnation.
You gave me no real reason.
Now I am its embodiment.
I walk alone with the torment.
I bear both your scars and mine.
They just show up and hurt all the time.
But I'm okay.
I took it.
I still love you.
But I just had to leave.
No, not me.
Yes.
No, just anybody.
So much easier perhaps with a willing subject.
Call me a lab rat.
Call me anything.
Just, please, call me.
Most certain I'm stricken by you.
Everything's hazy right now.
I used to tell mom I'd be a good man; now I'm not so sure.
Nobody was flocking to my side.
But you were there for me, weren't you?
You bound my hands and told me you loved me.
And then came the book.
The candle.
The mirror.
The pipe.
All crashing down on the back of my skull.
No tear was shed when my hands were covered red.
I was wondering, darling, must we fight tonight?
I have never learned anything from an argument.
I have never learned anything from being demeaned.
I hope you're gaining something when you strike me.
I'm okay.
I can take it.
I still love you.
I promise I'll never leave.
Dark is the art of your persuasion.
Cold is the heart in your chest.
I once longed to lie on your breast and tell you my story.
Now you raise your voice.
You reach for a sharp object.
I won't ever tell anyone, my dear.
Your secret is safe right here on my arm.
No cause for alarm.
I'm okay.
I can take it.
I still love you.
Just please don't ever leave.
I remember why you said this would happen.
"I'm sorry, I just do and say things I don't mean when I'm upset."
Escalation.
Rationalization.
Damnation.
You gave me no real reason.
Now I am its embodiment.
I walk alone with the torment.
I bear both your scars and mine.
They just show up and hurt all the time.
But I'm okay.
I took it.
I still love you.
But I just had to leave.
The Lies Of The Avatars
Good morning, world
Have you yet to mix your controlled substance?
Take a swig and log in to your pretense
So much better than what you see outside
You're a hero here, but for how long?
You gain levels and don't truly feel strong
Nobody told you you're doing this all wrong
But you succumb to the lie
It's so comfortable to say things you don't mean
To be sucked into a screen
To be someone you are not
It's so wonderful to disassociate
I think it's time to reevaluate
'Cause I won't watch you sit and rot
Good evening, world
Have you yet to take a look out of your window?
Take a glimpse and see the sunset as the night goes
But you're feeling so much safer here inside
You can make a friend, but for how long?
Fall in love with strangers and move on
But take away the vice and the love is gone
Yet you succumb to the lie
It's so comfortable to say things you don't mean
To be sucked into a screen
To be someone you are not
It's so wonderful to disassociate
I think it's time to reevaluate
'Cause I won't watch you sit and rot
Can't you see you're stifling your mind?
Don't you know you haven't really done a thing?
Watch your money dissipate with your life
Just for the temporary glory that it brings
You're trapped inside a web of lies
They've got you right where they want you
And when you start to look back on your life
All this time wasted will haunt you
Good morning, world
Nice to see you outside here in the fresh spring air
Doesn't it feel great to see the rising sun?
I know it was so much safer inside
But now you know that your old life was wrong
You're here among us right where you belong
Let's adventure together by the dawn
Broken free of the lie
It's so amazing to be everything you are
To see this galaxy of stars
Using your own eyes
It's so powerful to put our lives into words
To accept our universe
And to know that we're alive
So let's live
Have you yet to mix your controlled substance?
Take a swig and log in to your pretense
So much better than what you see outside
You're a hero here, but for how long?
You gain levels and don't truly feel strong
Nobody told you you're doing this all wrong
But you succumb to the lie
It's so comfortable to say things you don't mean
To be sucked into a screen
To be someone you are not
It's so wonderful to disassociate
I think it's time to reevaluate
'Cause I won't watch you sit and rot
Good evening, world
Have you yet to take a look out of your window?
Take a glimpse and see the sunset as the night goes
But you're feeling so much safer here inside
You can make a friend, but for how long?
Fall in love with strangers and move on
But take away the vice and the love is gone
Yet you succumb to the lie
It's so comfortable to say things you don't mean
To be sucked into a screen
To be someone you are not
It's so wonderful to disassociate
I think it's time to reevaluate
'Cause I won't watch you sit and rot
Can't you see you're stifling your mind?
Don't you know you haven't really done a thing?
Watch your money dissipate with your life
Just for the temporary glory that it brings
You're trapped inside a web of lies
They've got you right where they want you
And when you start to look back on your life
All this time wasted will haunt you
Good morning, world
Nice to see you outside here in the fresh spring air
Doesn't it feel great to see the rising sun?
I know it was so much safer inside
But now you know that your old life was wrong
You're here among us right where you belong
Let's adventure together by the dawn
Broken free of the lie
It's so amazing to be everything you are
To see this galaxy of stars
Using your own eyes
It's so powerful to put our lives into words
To accept our universe
And to know that we're alive
So let's live
... To The Stars
The end is now upon me
And I no longer see you in the light
The journey's at an end here
And I'd kept hoping we would intertwine
I found you once, I lost you twice
I searched for you across the reach of space
I knew that I'd see you again
To tell you of the stars one day
I traveled to the heavens
To follow all your long forgotten trails
I worked and toiled forever
And all I did until the end was fail
Or perhaps I didn't lose at all
Perhaps the journey was always meant to be
These words I have left here for you
For I said I'd tell you of the stars one day
I was ever longing for you
I lost my nerve and led myself astray
Searched endlessly to find you
But my journey to the stars ends today
I chased for you so long now
I'm resigned to letting you run away
And even though I feel broken
I know that one day I will find my way
I will find a way
I will find my way
I will find a way
I will find my way
And I no longer see you in the light
The journey's at an end here
And I'd kept hoping we would intertwine
I found you once, I lost you twice
I searched for you across the reach of space
I knew that I'd see you again
To tell you of the stars one day
I traveled to the heavens
To follow all your long forgotten trails
I worked and toiled forever
And all I did until the end was fail
Or perhaps I didn't lose at all
Perhaps the journey was always meant to be
These words I have left here for you
For I said I'd tell you of the stars one day
I was ever longing for you
I lost my nerve and led myself astray
Searched endlessly to find you
But my journey to the stars ends today
I chased for you so long now
I'm resigned to letting you run away
And even though I feel broken
I know that one day I will find my way
I will find a way
I will find my way
I will find a way
I will find my way
From The Earth...
The gentle newness of a birth
Beholding something that is ours
All products of our mother Earth
And yet we venture to the stars
Tethered forever to the dirt
Gravity keeps us behind bars
You asked me "What is this life worth?
When will you take me to the stars?"
Our love ignited like a flame
And then it diminished with time
Myself I will forever blame
Indicted self of my own crime
You protected yourself from hurt
You set off on adventures far
This story's begat from the Earth
But now it takes me to the stars
To the stars - I search for you, I go
To the stars - I search for you, I go
To the stars
Beholding something that is ours
All products of our mother Earth
And yet we venture to the stars
Tethered forever to the dirt
Gravity keeps us behind bars
You asked me "What is this life worth?
When will you take me to the stars?"
Our love ignited like a flame
And then it diminished with time
Myself I will forever blame
Indicted self of my own crime
You protected yourself from hurt
You set off on adventures far
This story's begat from the Earth
But now it takes me to the stars
To the stars - I search for you, I go
To the stars - I search for you, I go
To the stars
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